‘Dying for Sex’s’ Jenny Slate on the Email She Sent Nikki Boyer As She Prepared to Play Her, and How They’ve Become Best Friends in Real Life
Actress Jenny Slate admits she’s not someone who listens to podcasts or spends hours on the internet. So, when her agents mentioned that something based on a podcast was coming up, everything came as a surprise.
That project was FX’s “Dying for Sex.” The limited series is based on the true story of Molly Kochan, a young woman who is diagnosed with stage IV cancer. Together with her best friend Nikki Boyer, the two start a podcast about her journey.
Speaking at FX’s Dying for Sex Panel, Slate says, “I had no idea the project was about to be made. I just heard briefly about it and was blown away by the material and how instantly I just felt myself pleading to be a part of it.”
Her pleas worked. Slate plays Boyer on the show alongside Michelle Williams.
With Boyer being an executive producer on the show, Slate prepared by listening to the podcast and reading the scripts and preparing for the chemistry read with Williams.
She eventually reached out to Boyer by email. “I was like, ‘Hey, I don’t actually, really know if you want to be in touch.’” I wasn’t sure what Nikki’s set of feelings was around the project being made.”
As it turned out, Boyer reached right back and was supportive. The two met on set and had an instant connection that still remains strong to this day. Slate says, “While I kept with my own preparatory process in terms of how I prepared for my scene work, I got a lot of more room and just like emotionally different places to move because Nikki spoke so openly with me about how she felt about Molly’s death, or the doctor that misdiagnosed and disregarded Molly in the first place. Or, how anger goes through you.”
Slate was joined by Boyer on the panel and knew in telling this part of Kochan’s story as a limited series, that Kochan would always be the North Star. Boyer explains she knew it felt right when she met with the showrunners and writers. Boyer says, “I started meeting with showrunners, and started having the experience of thinking about bringing this to television, because the Wondery podcast did so well, and they were such great partners, but when I started to actually meet showrunners, when I sat down with Liz Merriweather, there was just a feeling right, like, ‘Oh, this feels like the right human to connect with Molly.’”
Molly’s journey is ultimately about having a sexual awakening. Something she didn’t plan for. Ass she battles her illness, she explores her sexual desires and fetishes, empowering herself. And Nikki is right by her side.
On working with co-creators, executive producers and writers Meriwether and Kim Rosenstock, Boyerwanted to make sure that no matter what changes were being made, she stressed creative liberties were important, but “it just always goes back to Molly.” She adds, “I always felt like the heart of it was right there, and it was the two of us, and I always could see us and feel us in every scene. So that the experience to me was I just wanted to dump as much information onto them as I possibly could.”
Slate also discussed unpacking Boyer’s journey, who takes on the role of caregiver to her best friend.“I think Liz and Kim did such a great job of sort of wheeling the character of Nikki around cliches, like we don’t even think about. Do either of these women want to have babies? Like, be moms or whatever? We don’t. That’s not part of the discussion. It’s always part of living.”
The actress also took into consideration the tonal balance of comedy and drama. “I think although the character of Nikki is those kind of buzz words, like chaotic and messy, and I played those jokes, and I think they’re really important, I also, I think, allowed myself to feel very protective of and like serious about the character of Nikki’s constant heart that like she’s just never turned off.” Slate goes on to say, “She’s never so so about something. She has really big, strong feelings, and she doesn’t know how or why a person would pump the brakes.”
Boyer recalled seeing Slate play her for the first time. It’s when Nikki on the show, is looking for a CD of Molly’s medical records and finds it in a leaf mask. Boyer says, “I don’t want to sound like cliche or cheesy, but there was just a feeling of trust and a feeling of home when I worked with Jenny, I think that day that that you shot that scene, that night, we actually went out to dinner, and we sat and talked for hours and hashed through some things together and just laughed and talked about our real lives.
With the show not shooting in chronolgocal order, Slate delved further into her process and how it raised her awareness of the greater story and where she needed to be at each moment, rather than build up to something.. “I really had to be prepared, like, where are we in Molly’s health? Where are we in Nikki’s growth? Where are we in Nikki’s feelings about her acting?”
While Slate also discussed where her character is when the series ends – after Molly dies, the show forwards to Nikki directing “The Tempest” and fulfilling her dream. For Boyer, seeing Williams and Slate has allowed her to reflect on things and, as she says, “be really accountable about my feelings, but I don’t think I was conscious of all of this happening in real time. But now that I get to have many years away from it, but also still deeply involved in it, I am just learning so much and so grateful. I feel like it’s the longest therapy session of my life, and I love it
Watch the video above.
That project was FX’s “Dying for Sex.” The limited series is based on the true story of Molly Kochan, a young woman who is diagnosed with stage IV cancer. Together with her best friend Nikki Boyer, the two start a podcast about her journey.
Speaking at FX’s Dying for Sex Panel, Slate says, “I had no idea the project was about to be made. I just heard briefly about it and was blown away by the material and how instantly I just felt myself pleading to be a part of it.”
Her pleas worked. Slate plays Boyer on the show alongside Michelle Williams.
With Boyer being an executive producer on the show, Slate prepared by listening to the podcast and reading the scripts and preparing for the chemistry read with Williams.
She eventually reached out to Boyer by email. “I was like, ‘Hey, I don’t actually, really know if you want to be in touch.’” I wasn’t sure what Nikki’s set of feelings was around the project being made.”
As it turned out, Boyer reached right back and was supportive. The two met on set and had an instant connection that still remains strong to this day. Slate says, “While I kept with my own preparatory process in terms of how I prepared for my scene work, I got a lot of more room and just like emotionally different places to move because Nikki spoke so openly with me about how she felt about Molly’s death, or the doctor that misdiagnosed and disregarded Molly in the first place. Or, how anger goes through you.”
Slate was joined by Boyer on the panel and knew in telling this part of Kochan’s story as a limited series, that Kochan would always be the North Star. Boyer explains she knew it felt right when she met with the showrunners and writers. Boyer says, “I started meeting with showrunners, and started having the experience of thinking about bringing this to television, because the Wondery podcast did so well, and they were such great partners, but when I started to actually meet showrunners, when I sat down with Liz Merriweather, there was just a feeling right, like, ‘Oh, this feels like the right human to connect with Molly.’”
Molly’s journey is ultimately about having a sexual awakening. Something she didn’t plan for. Ass she battles her illness, she explores her sexual desires and fetishes, empowering herself. And Nikki is right by her side.
On working with co-creators, executive producers and writers Meriwether and Kim Rosenstock, Boyerwanted to make sure that no matter what changes were being made, she stressed creative liberties were important, but “it just always goes back to Molly.” She adds, “I always felt like the heart of it was right there, and it was the two of us, and I always could see us and feel us in every scene. So that the experience to me was I just wanted to dump as much information onto them as I possibly could.”
Slate also discussed unpacking Boyer’s journey, who takes on the role of caregiver to her best friend.“I think Liz and Kim did such a great job of sort of wheeling the character of Nikki around cliches, like we don’t even think about. Do either of these women want to have babies? Like, be moms or whatever? We don’t. That’s not part of the discussion. It’s always part of living.”
The actress also took into consideration the tonal balance of comedy and drama. “I think although the character of Nikki is those kind of buzz words, like chaotic and messy, and I played those jokes, and I think they’re really important, I also, I think, allowed myself to feel very protective of and like serious about the character of Nikki’s constant heart that like she’s just never turned off.” Slate goes on to say, “She’s never so so about something. She has really big, strong feelings, and she doesn’t know how or why a person would pump the brakes.”
Boyer recalled seeing Slate play her for the first time. It’s when Nikki on the show, is looking for a CD of Molly’s medical records and finds it in a leaf mask. Boyer says, “I don’t want to sound like cliche or cheesy, but there was just a feeling of trust and a feeling of home when I worked with Jenny, I think that day that that you shot that scene, that night, we actually went out to dinner, and we sat and talked for hours and hashed through some things together and just laughed and talked about our real lives.
With the show not shooting in chronolgocal order, Slate delved further into her process and how it raised her awareness of the greater story and where she needed to be at each moment, rather than build up to something.. “I really had to be prepared, like, where are we in Molly’s health? Where are we in Nikki’s growth? Where are we in Nikki’s feelings about her acting?”
While Slate also discussed where her character is when the series ends – after Molly dies, the show forwards to Nikki directing “The Tempest” and fulfilling her dream. For Boyer, seeing Williams and Slate has allowed her to reflect on things and, as she says, “be really accountable about my feelings, but I don’t think I was conscious of all of this happening in real time. But now that I get to have many years away from it, but also still deeply involved in it, I am just learning so much and so grateful. I feel like it’s the longest therapy session of my life, and I love it
Watch the video above.